Its almost unreal when anyone I know dies, but someone my age dies.... and I can't conceive it, so I seem like I'm not bothered by it because I'm still trying to fully understand...
I've been to a few funerals, of family members I was close to, such as my grandpa.
And I'd never cry, but stare at him and think about how hes isn't going anywhere else but into the ground. I never believed in heaven or any kind of paradise afterlife. But then I would think about myself, even as a little girl and what it will be like without me, when I died, and how it would feel for my whole world to end.
Which I think is much worse.
Since I saw the first facebook post I've been scrolling down Chads wall and reading all of the slightly different posts written by friends. It made me really think about who I would want to see last if I could only have a select few, or what my boyfriend would do...
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