I've had a very annoying day. But I was in my head for the most part, so it flew by.
I'm incredibly lucky to have someone to keep me together, on those days when I just want to die.
So much, so much to talk about.
I love sex, as a connection. After reaching a certain point of emotional trust and communication.
But lusting after someone and using free love while that person is involved just to do things to them, I feel, is something very immature.
Or maybe I'm just confused, when it comes to sex with more than one other person.
I'm sad to hear that my mother is up to her old ways.
Growing crazier with menopause.
And my little sisters are going to suffer through the worst of it. Once they get caught doing something she doesn't approve of... all hell will break loose. I just know I'm going to be the one to try to protect them from her, and shes going to shut me off from seeing them. Or anyone else from the outside world.
I really did go through alot and its like I've forgotten all of it. And today was a good reminder of how pitiful she actually is.
Something has really taken a toll on me though, and its that there is someone out there who really needs me, or atleast a friend who can help her get through the amount of pain she is going through.
The problem is no one can really understand her, and other than her boyfriend I need to be there for her, and I kick myself at the end of the day when I am not.
Things are real now, and not even close to how life was when we first started out as friends.
If you realize who you are please reach me.
And one last thing.
since I've been writing this blog, Eric has woken up twice and looks over at me and smiles, which keeps as hes still falling back asleep. My handsome smiling, sleeping Eric.
I'm astounded at us really, that I was right about him from the beginning and I'm in love with the fact that we are growing up together and learning so much together everyday.
I'll be writing again, but I'm going to bed now. Until we meet again!
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